I am the very model of a lissun quite fanatical
From readings of the Canon I am never on sabbatical;
I'll tell you the errata from editions North American
And English, yes I can and I will swear and will aver I can.
I strive to beat the Greeter when new members come aboard the list
And see that they drink down their port but never get completely p*ssed.
I'll pass on my opinions of the cover art from Lippincott
[Lippincott, Lippincott …]
And tell you the dimensions of Jack Aubrey's patent sleeping cot.
I've been to Lissun gatherings in every place inhabited
And on and on and ON about Jack Aubrey we have rabbited...
Yes, I prefer the Canon to a break or a sabbatical,
I am the very model of a lissun quite fanatical.
I have some strong opinions on the Tolstoy-King biographies
And how they can't be seen at all as being hagiographies;
In wildest Wales I've tramped the hills where Patrick leapt so bounceable
O'er tors and vales and towns with names completely unpronounceable
I've toured all over Collioure and pestered all the villagers
And scooped up souvenirs just like a roving band of pillagers.
I'm a dedicated reader of O'Brian's juvenilia,
[nilia, pilia …]
But panda-leopard mating? Why, I've heard of nothing sillier.
And I have seen in Dublin Town his little rooms at Trinity
And raised my eyes to see Jack's stars all stretching to infinity;
I still prefer the Canon to a break or a sabbatical,
I am the very model of a lissun quite fanatical.
So though I purse my lips when Jack strays closer to adultery,
The fellow just cannot resist a maiden's glance that's sultery;
I look askance at Stephen and his singular appearances
But know that he's dished Boney's schemes with timely interferences;
I'll drink a toast to Pullings in his beaming joy promotional;
When Jack is in the pillory I get a bit emotional.
I know why Aubrey says, in taking refuge in his telescope
[telescope, telescope …]
"When life on land is just so tough, how DO the other fellows cope?"
So let us sail with Jack and Stephen and the bold Surprise's crew
We'll weather storms and gentle calms and capture some fat prizes too.
And from my fav'rite books I won't be taking a sabbatical,
I am the very model of a lissun quite fanatical.